Forgiveness

Throughout the Scriptures and from many pulpits the message is preached, "Repent, confess your sins, turn to God. . ." An excellent -- and essential -- call. Every day we are called to conversion, to once again lay our hearts before the Cross and cry out, "Lord, have mercy! . . . . I have sinned against you in thought, word and deed, by what I have done and by what I have not done . . . ."

But I think there is an aspect of this which we have placed far to little emphasis on, though Scripture goes to great length to address it.

"So if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there before the alatar and go; first be reconciled to your brother, and then come and offer your gift." (Matt. 5:23-24 RSV)

"Pray then like this: . . . . And forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtos; and lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil. For if you forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father also will forgive you; but if you do not forgive men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive you trespasses." (Matt. 6:9a, 12-15)

"Then Peter came up and said to him, "Lord, how often shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? As many as seven times?" Jesus said to him, "I do not say to you seven times, but seventy times seven." (Matt. 18:21-22)

"Then his lord summoned him and said to him, 'You wicked servant! I forgave you all that debt because you besought me; and should not you have had mercy on your fellow servant, as I had mercy on you?' And in anger his lord delivered him to the jailers, till he should pay all his debt. So also my heavenly Father will do to everyone of you, if you do not forgive your brother from your heart." (Matt. 18:32-35. Read 21-35 for the context. I had typed it all out, but it was really long. . .)

"And whenever you stand praying, forgive, if you have anything against any one; so that your Father also who is in heaven may forgive you your trespasses." (Mark 11:25)

"Take heed to yourselves; if your brother sins, rebuke him, and if he repents, forgive him; and if he sins against you seven times in the day, and turns to you seven times, and says, 'I repent,' you must forgive him." (Luke 17:3-4)

"But if any one has cause pain, he has caused it not to me, but in some measure — not to put it too severely — to you all. For such a one this punishment by the majority is enough; so you should rather turn to forgive and comfort him, or he may be overwhelmed by excessive sorrow. So I be you to reaffirm you love for him. For this is why I wrote, that I might test you and know whether you are obedient in everything. Any one whom you forgive, I also forgive. What I have forgiven, if I have forgiven anything, has been for you sake in the presence of Christ, to keep Satan from gaining the advantage over us; for we are not ignorant of his designs." (2 Cor. 2:5-11)

I know I've read the most recent passage before, but I had completely forgotten about it. I find it quite interesting that he refers to keeping Satan from gaining advantage over us by forgiving. And how true that is! I was prompted to find these passages and write about this passage because of my experiences this summer and throughout my life.

What is it about forgiveness that causes Jesus to use such strong words about it and for Paul to speak of it as if it can prevent Satan from gaining advantage over us? And why can it be so hard to forgive?

For me, forgiveness demands that I love the other person, and many times that's the last thing I want to do. My sister cuts me with her words in that way only she knows, perhaps my friend was a jerk to me, or some of my other friends left me out of the evening plans. Maybe a coworker speaks badly about me all the time, making work miserable, or even gets me fired, or my wife cheats on me, or a drunk driver kills my parents, or a business partner runs off with all the money. . . My reaction (I realize others react differently) is to let a cold indifference creep in (or so it seems), saying to me, "Whatever. . . it doesn't matter. . . You know, you don't really need them. This doesn't really need to bother you. There are better people out there. Just cut your losses and move on. Forget about it, forget about them."

That may sound nice, but let me call it what it is: A bold faced lie from Hell.

Oh, I may wish that it doesn't matter, or that it doesn't bother me, but the fact is, it does matter. Underneath the facade of indifference is a heart in turmoil. We are made for love, to love and to be loved. And how could you love someone and not forgive them? Everytime we go against love, we are fighting against the very way we were created to be, especially we who have received the gift of the Holy Spirit, making us alive in Christ, partakers of the divine nature

And as do so, we deaden a part of our heart.

We say, "Oh heart, do not love!! For to love brings to much risk of pain, and humility!" and in the process, we turn our hearts away from God. Slowly, surely, we find ourselves like the man who refused to forgive a small debt though he had been forgiven such a large debt (Matt 18). So often we read that story and say, "Ahh, foolish servant! Can he not see the ridiculousness of what he is doing? How can he not understand what he is doing?" but we do not see that we very often are that servant.

I had conversations with several people this summer in which they told me that their relationship with God was a little rocky. After talking with them for a while, I discovered that deep below the surface — maybe even unknown to them before then — there was someone or some people that they were refusing to forgive. The suggestion that they pray for them was met with stiff resistance, and I think I know why. Both forgiving people and praying for them (on their behalf, not that God would send them to a deep, dark hold somewhere) require love. As soon as we begin to pray for someone, we bring the attitudes in our heart into sharp contrast with love. So, if we don't want to love someone, we aren't going to want to pray for them, or forgive them.

I would like to reflect on asking for forgiveness from others, but I will save that for another time.

† Jonathan †